“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.” James 4:1-2
The next time you’re terribly angry with someone, ask yourself: What is it that I want that I’m not getting? Similarly, when someone is angry with you, ask them: What is it that you want that you’re not getting? This is also a good one to ask your kids when they’re fighting. It’s a show-stopper.
These questions immediately get to the root of the thing. Be tender and show mercy here, though. Often what someone wants most is very raw and might place them in a vulnerable spot that makes them terrible uncomfortable. So “be kind, tenderhearted…” Ephesians 4:32.
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