“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” 1 John 1:9-10
As my last post discussed, all of us generally respond to conflict in one of three ways: By trying to 1. escape, 2. make peace, or 3. go on the attack.
Today, we’re going to discuss the first tactic: ESCAPE
People tend to use ESCAPE responses when they are more interested in avoiding unpleasant people or situations than in resolving differences. You attempt ESCAPE by:
1. DENIAL – One way to escape from a conflict is to pretend that a problem does not even exist. Another way is to refuse to do what should be done to resolve a conflict properly. These responses bring only temporary relief and usually make matters worse (see 1 Samuel 2:22-25).
2. FLIGHT – Another way to escape from a conflict is to run away. This may take the form of pulling away from a relationship, quitting a job, filing for divorce, or changing churches. Flight may be legitimate in extreme circumstances (see 1 Samuel 19:9-10), but in most cases it only postpones a proper solution to a problem.
3. SUICIDE – When people lose all hope of resolving conflict, they may seek to escape from the situation (or make a desperate cry for help) by attempting to take their own lives (see 1 Samuel 31:4). Suicide is never a right way to deal with conflict.
(Content adapted from “The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande).
Most of the time, unless serious danger is threatening you, ESCAPE is an unhealthy response. Re-read these short descriptions and see if any of these are true of you. What do you think? If you’d like to see what a healthy response to conflict looks like, stay tuned…
#makepeace #beapeacemaker #reconcile #stoprunning
Everyone reacts to conflict in one of three main ways:
1. Escape – run, Forest, run. 🏃♂️ Or…
2. Make peace – let’s resolve this, I want peace. ✌️Or…
3. Attack – You can’t get away with that! I’m coming for you! 🥊
Within each of these three broad categories are more nuanced reactions, and I will spend the next several posts going through them. Some are healthy are some are not. If you’d like to consider looking at your behavior when it comes to conflict, hang with me for a few days. You may decide you’d like to change.
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.” James 4:1-2
The next time you’re terribly angry with someone, ask yourself: What is it that I want that I’m not getting? Similarly, when someone is angry with you, ask them: What is it that you want that you’re not getting? This is also a good one to ask your kids when they’re fighting. It’s a show-stopper.
These questions immediately get to the root of the thing. Be tender and show mercy here, though. Often what someone wants most is very raw and might place them in a vulnerable spot that makes them terrible uncomfortable. So “be kind, tenderhearted…” Ephesians 4:32.
#peacemaking101 #peacemakersgottaeattoo #hireapeacemaker